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  #1  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 12:47 AM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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Default Real life decisions

So, as many of you know, I had lived in one city in South Dakota since my WSS days...in fact WSS was one of my diversions when I broke up with a thank God she's my ex back then......until 2015, when I took a job with the state and moved 200 miles west to one of the few state capitals not on an interstate and, I believe, the 2nd smallest in the country....15,000 people.....not that I left a metropolis, it was 25,000

I took the job looking for more security, but also expecting the opportunity to move up and create a solid retirement, even tho I knew regardless I'd need to be working longer than I ever expected because, well, things with JS and my career in general hadn't gone as planned. However, moving up with the state is just as ridiculously impossible with the state at my age as elsewhere. The boss that hired me (and who I still view as a friend) retired and his hand chosen replacement and I simply do not get along...I'll leave it at that other than it also meaning she's zero help in moving up OR out.

Meanwhile, I sold the 4th house I've ever owned (albeit a mobile home in that case) to move into an apartment here. Were I to stay here, however....a cousin who lived here passed away last month and, as it relates here, left a trailer his sister will need to sell...a viable purchase for me..again, were I to stay.

Now...I left the company I was working for when I came here in large part because of my boss.....he's now gone along with his second in command and a friend is now in charge. Months ago we jokingly started talking about my return.

It's not a joke at this point; he's convinced the owner to make me an offer to return as his 2nd in command. That offer will likely come Monday or Tuesday.

I know what the offer will likely be- not as much as I'd like, but more than I may ever get here with the state. Insurance will be as good or better than I have, but so long all those federal holidays and so long (tho we hope to change that) matching funds to a retirement account.

Who, me long winded?! OK, so the main pros of accepting are...higher salary than I may ever get with the state, get back to an area where I spent 20 years, and get away from a bad boss (and it's not just me that thinks this about her OR fired brother). While I just got an interview request from another department, I've interviewed there twice before with no offer.

OK, so scary as it is to think about, I believe (assuming I'm not lowballed) going back to my old company is the move....risky as it seems given 64 is right in front of me....but my friend assures me I can work there as long as I want.

Still with me? So now, if I DO move, there's the further decision of where to live....the company is in a tiny town under 1000 20 miles from where I lived before. Do I find a place in that town, eliminating a commute, knowing I'm still just 20 miles away? Or do I live where there's actual things going on but create the daily commute? And, do I buy or rent? And IF I buy, what? I don't want to have to keep working years from now just to justify having paid a mortgage to that point.

Regardless of whether I buy or rent, my cost of living goes up if I make the move, especially if I move into a house like I want to, not another apartment like I have here...but not so much that it kills the gain in salary, plus my friend assures me my salary will likely increase, perhaps noticeably, once I'm established...but I can't spend assuming that.

Big stuff in my little world....would have been a lot easier if my original investor at JS, back in 2002, had been able to come thru.
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So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?

  #2  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 12:52 AM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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Gawd that got long....here's a shorter version

I will be getting an offer in a couple days to return to my old company, back near where I used to live. The money's decent, my boss won't be an --- like the one I had there or the one I currently have, but it means leaving the security a government job involves..in part because the opportunities I should have simply aren't available at my age.

It also means moving 200 miles and having to decide whether, at almost 64, to buy or rent....and whether to live in the town of 800 where the company is, or commute 20 miles from the town I used to live. There's little opportunity to live in between.
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Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
  #3  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 11:24 AM
yon Beast yon Beast is offline
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you have a decision to make!
It sounds to me like you have already made it and are just needing a little encouragement
Go where you will be happy and appreciated daily...those perks are hard enough to come by.
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  #4  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 11:56 AM
rich76 rich76 is offline
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Agree with beast but.............

Possibly, at your age, retirement should be a large part of your decision. Either way you go, which will result in less struggle in retirement?

How efficient is your present vehicle?

Is your new prospective employer blowing smoke up your arse regarding advancement and salary increases?

Your present govt. job.....will you be there long enough to yield any kind of pension? (10yrs to be vested I believe).

Will your monthly costs increase or decrease with the move?
__________________
You may not believe in guns and you may not believe in God. ...but if someone breaks into your home I guarantee the 1st two things you'll do is call someone with a gun and pray they get there in time
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'
IMHO we finally have a POTUS that will get us back on the right track. We survived the community organizer but I am not optimistic that he will just go away and enjoy his ill-gotten wealth.
God bless our Troops.
  #5  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 02:25 PM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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One question I asked myself was.......how much is it worth to me to be able to walk into work every day and NOT have a boss who treats me like she's glad I'm there getting the work done, but doesn't want anything to do with me? A decent amount, but I still need the money to work.

By struggle in retirement, are you meaning retirement plan? I can keep my current plan, even add to it, I'd just no longer get a match from the state of course....and we'll need to work on the owner 'cause nobody's currently getting a match there.

My Jeep does just fine.....26+ on the highway, my current combined mileage (haven't reset since I bought it) is just under 25.

Advancement isn't the question, bonuses/salary increases may be...all I can go on is what my new boss (whom I trust) knows/believes to be true. The owner basically wants to be able to go back to being semi-retired, and has said he'll reward the people that help that happen.

I was vested re retirement at 4 years...that's why I can keep the plan, even contribute to it. There's even the potential I could draw from it without penalty/tax hit if I put it directly into buying a house within 2 months....but I don't know that buying is logical anyway.

Monthly costs will increase.....several thousand if I move into a house, which I'd prefer (vs the apartment I'm currently in and got a good deal on).....so yes, eats into some of the upfront salary increase, but being in a house is another part of bettering my quality of life (like changing bosses).

Basically, where I'm at is....I don't know another way I can get away from my current boss (or no guarantee of it anyway)....but it's not a last ditch effort, I already know I like the guy I'll work with day to day, we've already done it for 4 years. I know a lot more people there than I'll ever know here. I'm getting more comfortable about that part all the time.

What remains otherwise is the where....the town of 25k I lived in for 20 years or the town of 800 the company is in. There's nothing to rent there, so to live there means buying. Buying a modular/mobile home is more doable, but none would come with a garage or basement to have the wood shop I'd like to have again.

Or, where I'm leaning now....renting in the town of 25k so I'm not making a too quick decision to buy, but knowing I'm setting myself up for the 20 mile daily commute...at least here 20 miles means 20 minutes, not like it would be in a city.
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Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
  #6  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 02:34 PM
rich76 rich76 is offline
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Once again, I agree with beast then. Sounds like you've already decided the move is better....in numerous ways.

If there was one single thing high on your list it would be to buy or rent. In my experience......... I rented most of my life (convenience as I also moved around a bit) but now that I've owned for 20+ years, my very best decision was to buy.
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You may not believe in guns and you may not believe in God. ...but if someone breaks into your home I guarantee the 1st two things you'll do is call someone with a gun and pray they get there in time
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'
IMHO we finally have a POTUS that will get us back on the right track. We survived the community organizer but I am not optimistic that he will just go away and enjoy his ill-gotten wealth.
God bless our Troops.
  #7  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 02:47 PM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rich76 View Post
Once again, I agree with beast then. Sounds like you've already decided the move is better....in numerous ways.

If there was one single thing high on your list it would be to buy or rent. In my experience......... I rented most of my life (convenience as I also moved around a bit) but now that I've owned for 20+ years, my very best decision was to buy.
If I was 43....even 53...the thought of buying would be my leaning as well. But I'm 63, 6 weeks from 64..........starting a new mortgage at a time some are starting a reverse mortgage is more than a little scary. Making a quick decision to rent is easily rectified, making a quick decision to buy, not so much.

Little of my financial life the past 20 years has gone according to my preferred plan, but now that I've gotten where I have, the last thing I need is another backfire.

There's a duplex for rent that ticks most (possibly all not sure) my boxes and is the most reasonably priced (without being a hole) out there.........but there's also a couple brand new never lived in homes in the only small town between the 25k I'd most likely live in and the town the company is in (happy medium location wise, but no rentals) that are listed as 2 bedroom only because they've only studded out the basement where 2 more could be (raising the question of why not finish it so the price can be raised, but also thinking if I finished it, it's a bump to resell price)
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Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
  #8  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 03:23 PM
rich76 rich76 is offline
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Make a deal.....rent to buy. It's done more than you think.
__________________
You may not believe in guns and you may not believe in God. ...but if someone breaks into your home I guarantee the 1st two things you'll do is call someone with a gun and pray they get there in time
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'
IMHO we finally have a POTUS that will get us back on the right track. We survived the community organizer but I am not optimistic that he will just go away and enjoy his ill-gotten wealth.
God bless our Troops.
  #9  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 03:35 PM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rich76 View Post
Make a deal.....rent to buy. It's done more than you think.
I've got a call in one one of those, actually.

First 2 houses I bought were on a contract for deed...even better deal because you lose less and it basically works like a reverse mortgage for the seller
__________________
Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
  #10  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 04:10 PM
bballjer44 bballjer44 is offline
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I'm going to lean toward staying where you are at. You said you like your co-worker and I haven't seen you indicate if you like either job much better than the other. Jobs at 64 are extremely hard to come by. Government jobs are usually pretty hard to be removed from. If that is true with yours? Pensions are gold, even small ones! Your past company was such a mess can you really be sure the future will be bright. If not, what will your prospects be for another job? Government probably won't take you back after you hit full retirement age.

What is a good reason for leaving a job? I quote:
"You are looking for better career prospects, professional growth and work opportunities. You want a change in career direction. You are looking for new challenges at work. You were made redundant or the company closed down".
Can you check any of the above reasons? You need a positive reason to switch, not a negative to go!
There are lots of aids for coping with a bad boss. Google them! I had several and stayed the course as they eventually went their way.
In summary, make your decision without factoring in one toxic boss. She is the least important part of your considerations. Finding a way to cope, maybe she leaves, etc...

I say I lean towards staying, but I can't answer the questions I'm asking, I can only read into what you wrote. I was forced to make a career move at age 53 in IT, which was flourishing, and it still was the most stressful thing I ever did because not many employers can look past the age issue. Worked out for me, but I never stopped looking over my shoulder.
Make a bullet list of pluses, minuses, how likely can something go wrong to sabotage either choice and what options will you have to move on. Assign values. Think it through and you will make the right choice.
  #11  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 06:10 PM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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I appreciate all input sincerely. There's no way for me put everything down that fits into my thought process, but I still gain some clarity with all responses and opinions.

Jerry, the jobs themselves aren't comparable. With the state I'm an accountant spending most of my time moving digital money around.....the new job puts me 2nd in command of the company wearing many hats from accounting to personnel to sales. My pension thus far is vested and I can continue it, albeit currently without new employer's contribution.

The company was a mess....owner's brother used it as his personal ATM, his partner in crime was reaping the benefits as well, and their friend the sales 'manager' was blissfully cashing nice paychecks while sales kept slipping. All 3 of them are gone and the owner is looking to the two of us to repair damages and pick sales back up.

So, we have a challenge ahead. But the owner has entrusted my friend and my friend has told me I'll never have to worry about another job. As secure as a government job? Maybe not.....but if pride had calories I'd have gained another 30 pounds dealing with my current boss..........she's in her mid 40s, her boss is in her mid 40s, both are in the position they plan to be in for years....I can't spend the rest of my career doing what I've been doing the past nearly 2 years, biting my tongue. This is a woman who gave me extra duties when another accountant was on maternity leave, ignored me when I asked if there was more I could do, kept doing all she'd asked even after the gal came back.....yet 5 months later told me during my review that I 'lost opportunity by not taking on more responsibility during her maternity leave'

But yes, my skill set is wider than my current responsibilities and the new job should tap into a lot more of them....learning all I need to learn at my age won't be my favorite thing to do, but the opportunities for financial gains are miles better.......with the state, I'll never reach the salary level I'll be offered tomorrow...with the likelihood of increases even within a couple months.

Believe me, tho....I've told them I can't make this move if I can't feel comfortable that when I leave, it will be my choice.
__________________
Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
  #12  
Unread 26 Jan 2020, 07:27 PM
bballjer44 bballjer44 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SiteWolf View Post
I appreciate all input sincerely. There's no way for me put everything down that fits into my thought process, but I still gain some clarity with all responses and opinions.

Jerry, the jobs themselves aren't comparable. With the state I'm an accountant spending most of my time moving digital money around.....the new job puts me 2nd in command of the company wearing many hats from accounting to personnel to sales. My pension thus far is vested and I can continue it, albeit currently without new employer's contribution.

The company was a mess....owner's brother used it as his personal ATM, his partner in crime was reaping the benefits as well, and their friend the sales 'manager' was blissfully cashing nice paychecks while sales kept slipping. All 3 of them are gone and the owner is looking to the two of us to repair damages and pick sales back up.

So, we have a challenge ahead. But the owner has entrusted my friend and my friend has told me I'll never have to worry about another job. As secure as a government job? Maybe not.....but if pride had calories I'd have gained another 30 pounds dealing with my current boss..........she's in her mid 40s, her boss is in her mid 40s, both are in the position they plan to be in for years....I can't spend the rest of my career doing what I've been doing the past nearly 2 years, biting my tongue. This is a woman who gave me extra duties when another accountant was on maternity leave, ignored me when I asked if there was more I could do, kept doing all she'd asked even after the gal came back.....yet 5 months later told me during my review that I 'lost opportunity by not taking on more responsibility during her maternity leave'

But yes, my skill set is wider than my current responsibilities and the new job should tap into a lot more of them....learning all I need to learn at my age won't be my favorite thing to do, but the opportunities for financial gains are miles better.......with the state, I'll never reach the salary level I'll be offered tomorrow...with the likelihood of increases even within a couple months.

Believe me, tho....I've told them I can't make this move if I can't feel comfortable that when I leave, it will be my choice.
It seems to me you have made a decision and clearly said why you need to make the change. Best of luck with your future endeavors.
  #13  
Unread 27 Jan 2020, 07:43 PM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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Inching closer....getting the offer letter in the morning but basically already know what it will be...slightly up from what I originally thought

...a kicker being, years ago they built a nice apartment for my former boss to live in when he was in town.....I was asked today if I'd want to rent it...for half what I thought I was going to have to be paying elsewhere. I haven't seen it yet, but this guy wouldn't live in a ----hole....it's in an old building, but there's only storage in the building next to it, an office in the building the other side of it, and a lumber yard across the street......so any noise will be during the day only. I hadn't decided I'd live in the little town, but with that deal (and oh btw it's one block from the office) it's like getting another $5,000 in salary tax free.
__________________
Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
  #14  
Unread 27 Jan 2020, 08:09 PM
rich76 rich76 is offline
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Grand slam.....................
__________________
You may not believe in guns and you may not believe in God. ...but if someone breaks into your home I guarantee the 1st two things you'll do is call someone with a gun and pray they get there in time
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'
IMHO we finally have a POTUS that will get us back on the right track. We survived the community organizer but I am not optimistic that he will just go away and enjoy his ill-gotten wealth.
God bless our Troops.
  #15  
Unread 27 Jan 2020, 11:10 PM
SiteWolf SiteWolf is offline
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it's still a bit surreal to think about ....living where the boss that drove me to leave the area lived, my office will be the one his partner in crime was (owner has his)

It would never specifically be my choice to live OR work in a town that size.....but it's still only 20 miles from the place I largely enjoyed for 20 years...........and saving that much on rent would allow me to noticeably increase savings to be choosy about what I'm saving for.....lake property, RV, travel...

from my perspective, when things fall together as this has, it makes me feel the decision is right
__________________
Find us on for updates, including site issues.

The fact that there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.
So, when is this "old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?
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