Astute observations

[SiteWolf]

Astute Observations

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dip----'s.

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Left Tackle?"

I don't do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

I don't like political jokes. I've seen too many get elected.

The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team's winning.

Wasn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Marriage changes passion . . . suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my OWN pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the freakin' class!

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

[rich76]