LMAO-sent to me by a fellow J$ member

[rich76]

Revised Maple Leafs schedule for 2009/2010


January
15 vs. Bloomington Jr. High School Girls
22 vs. Cub Scout Troop #101
29 vs. CNIB Senior Team

February
5 vs. Spanish-American War Vets
12 vs. Crippled Children's Hospital
19 vs. St. Cloud Home for Wayward Girls
26 vs. Girl Scout Troop #69

March
5 vs. Ontario VD Clinic Post #3
12 vs. Church Street Boy's Choir
19 vs. Korean War Amputees
26 vs. VA Hospital Polio Patients

Special Monday Night Game:
March 3 vs. Utopia Gay Boys

Name Change:
The Toronto Maple Leafs will be changed to the Toronto Tampons' as they are only good for one period, and they don't have a second string.

Coaching Change:
Paul Maurice will be replaced by Pamela Anderson. No doubt she will blow a few, but she won't choke up on the BIG ONE.

Rule Changes:
1. When playing the Girl Scouts, the Leafs must not eat their cookies.
2. The Leafs will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the game.
3. When playing the Polio Patients, the Leafs must not disconnect any of the leg braces.
4. There will be no more dancing with opposing teams, like the last time they played the Utopia Gay Boys.
5. The Leafs MUST PROMISE to remember that when the referee drops the puck, this signals the beginning of play. This is to ensure that no more time will be wasted while the Leafs try to figure out what just happened.
6. The Leafs must also stop tangling the crippled children in the net mesh.

'GOLF LEAFS GOLF'

[h20guy]

I like the "name change" part.

[TroyB911]

Funny but no need to have gays and cripples in there. I would get torched for that.

[islandgirl]

the best part? the leafs are so bad, this gets sent around again every year!

[TroyB911]

Sadder than you think. Representatives from Toronto are here trying to buy the Coyotes and relocate them back to Toronto. I guess they hope after a while the Leafs will just stop showing up and take the hint.

[Polar]

Yep ya would troy...... n prolly for few other things....

But you post this stuffs in regular post.... n say jokin' after...

This obvious joke....

Tho I don't think it funny cos of some references....

No matter... don't worry bout it....

Way tis..... some folk can say stuffs others can't..... some folks put stuffs in different ways....

Get over it man..... Suck it up Princess... Ha!!!

[SiteWolf]

Originally Posted by TroyB911

Sadder than you think. Representatives from Toronto are here trying to buy the Coyotes and relocate them back to Toronto. I guess they hope after a while the Leafs will just stop showing up and take the hint.

psst....the Coyotes were never in Toronto, they were in Winnipeg

[TroyB911]

I know they were the Jets. Hence our white out. But my joke was more like Toronto was looking to get a franchise moved there even though they still sorta have one.

[islandgirl]

I got it

[islandgirl]

A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".

The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"

[TroyB911]

Toronto can win because tehy are all crippled retards with a gay goalie who likes it in the 5-hole. LOL j/k cubbies. Da Bear here hatin on me friends across the ocean. USA USA USA. Da Bear luvs some USA.