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Ya just can't win
Quiet Round of Golf with my Wife
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end." "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!'" "I don't remember much after that"
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Having a dog named shark at the beach was a bad idea Why is there a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven It's wierd being the same age as old people My mom didn't raise no dummy, if she did it would be my sister I told my wife to embrace her faults......she hugged me I took a DNA test- God is my father When I ask if you want me to be honest, please say no 
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